Keys to Successful Parenting

 sir john

It is important that we discipline in a way that teaches responsibility by motivating our children internally, to build their self-esteem and make them feel loved. If our children are disciplined in this respect, they will not have a need to turn to gangs, drugs, or sex to feel powerful or belong.

The following ten keys will help parents use methods that have been proven to provide children with a sense of well-being and security.

1 - Use Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)

Your child’s self-esteem is greatly influenced by the quality of time you spend with him-not the amount of time that you spend. With our busy lives, we are often thinking about the next thing that we have to do, instead of putting 100% focused attention on what our child is saying to us. We often pretend to listen or ignore our child’s attempts to communicate with us. If we don’t give our child GEMS throughout the day, he will often start to misbehave. Negative attention in a child’s mind is better than being ignored.

It is also important to recognize that feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. So when your child says to you, “Mommy, you never spend time with me” (even though you just played with her) she is expressing what she feels. It is best at these times just to validate her feelings by saying, “Yeah, I bet it does feel like a long time since we spent time together.”

2 - Use Action, Not Words

Statistics say that we give our children over 2000 compliance requests a day! No wonder our children become “parent deaf!” Instead of nagging or yelling, ask yourself, “What action could I take?” For example, if you have nagged your child about unrolling his socks when he takes them off, then only wash socks that are unrolled. Action speaks louder than words.

3 - Give Children Appropriate Ways to Feel Powerful

If you don’t, they will find inappropriate ways to feel their power. Ways to help them feel powerful and valuable are to ask their advice, give them choices, let them help you balance your check book, cook all our part of a meal, or help you shop. A two-year-old can wash plastic dishes, wash vegetables, or put silverware away. Often we do the job for them because we can do it with less hassle, but the result is they feel unimportant.

4 - Use Natural Consequences

Ask yourself what would happen if I didn’t interfere in this situation? If we interfere when we don’t need to, we rob children of the chance to learn from the consequences of their actions. By allowing consequences to do the talking, we avoid disturbing our relationships by nagging or reminding too much. For example, if your child forgets her lunch, you don’t bring it to her. Allow her to find a solution and learn the importance of remembering.

5 - Use Logical Consequences

Often the consequences are too far in the future to practically use a natural consequence. When that is the case, logical consequences are effective. A consequence for the child must be logically related to the behavior in order for it to work. For example, if your child forgets to return his video and you ground him for a week, that punishment will only create resentment within your child. However, if you return the video for him and either deduct the amount from his allowance or allow him to work off the money owed, then your child can see the logic to your discipline.

6 - Withdraw from Conflict

If your child is testing you through a temper tantrum, or being angry or speaking disrespectfully to you, it is best if you leave the room or tell the child you will be in the next room if he wants to “Try again.” Do not leave in anger or defeat.

7 - Seperate the Deed from the Doer

Never tell a child that he is bad. That tears at his self-esteem. Help your child recognize that it isn’t that you don’t like him, but it is his behavior that you are unwilling to tolerate. In order for a child to have healthy self-esteem, he must know that he is loved unconditionally no matter what he does. Do not motivate your child by withdrawing your love from him. When in doubt, ask yourself, did my discipline build my child’s self-esteem?

8 - Be Kind and Firm at the Same Time

Suppose you have told your five-year-old child that if she isn’t dressed by the time the timer goes off, you will pick her up and take her to the car. She has been told she can either get dressed either in the car or at school. Make sure that you are loving when you pick her up, yet firm by picking her up as soon as the timer goes off without any more nagging. If in doubt, ask yourself, did I motivate through love or fear?

9 - Parent with the End in Mind

Most of us parent with the mindset to get the situation under control as soon as possible. We are looking for the expedient solution. This often results in children who feel overpowered. But if we parent in a way that keeps in mind how we want our child to be as an adult, we will be more thoughtful in the way we parent. For example, if we spank our child, he will learn to use acts of aggression to get what he wants when he grows up.

10 - Be Consistent, Follow Through

If you have made an agreement that your child cannot buy candy when she gets to the store, do not give in to her pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say.

Tourist spot in capiz-Villa consorcia resort

villa consorcia resort was a great place because the emenities of this resort was suit to your needs when you want to stay in the villa….they have a pool that super high..basket ball court for the sports recreation..hotel that have a nice ambiance and have a very affordable price if you check in….

Villa Consorcia REsort—

The Villa Consorcia!

—–this place was so amazing..when i got in this place..its like paradize with an amazing and unique ambiance of that resort..nakakarelax sya at mafeel feel mo tlaga yung katahimikan na hinahanap mo sa isang lugar…malalanghap mo din ang preskong hangin and the food—-so delicious and fresh comin’ from the sea…

—– The resort is neat and refreshing. The rooms are furnished with furnitures made from sophisticated tools. The rooms are bigger in size, with spacious shower areas, and separate toilets. The Standard and Deluxe are not too bad either as they are furnished with basic amenities and clean. All rooms have balconies and with good sights.
Food is included in the package and is pretty basic. They serve all meals at a simple eating open area and were served buffet style. For people with special regimens, I suggest taking your favorite food with you since the resort does not have any convenience store and restaurant.

—————For couples, who wants some peace and quiet, the resort is cozy and more or less romantic. The mini park are nice, clean and elegant. There are not a lot of resort sponsored activities, however the resort have fishing  equipment for rent. For parents who are planning on taking their kids to the resort, I would suggest Villa Consorcia Resort because this place was a friendlykind of resort, your kids will enjoy those amenities that suited to you and your kids.  But if you would like a place with good accomodations and you need some romantic place with a special one, Villa Consorcia REsort  for me can be that place to unleash those romantic thoughts into action.

my plans this sembreak:)

—Now?i dont have any plans for my vacation during semestral break but i have decided to go to panay , in my moms place..

I have to visit my papa’s grave on all saints day in Panay cementary..

—-

unfaithful by rihanna

 —based on my interpretation of this song—-

Being lied to by someone you love and felt you could trust is very painful and frustrating. You love your partner, so you find yourself forgiving his/her lies the first time, perhaps the second and third time as well, before you realize you are just involved with a liar. However, because you feel strongly for this person, it is not easy for you to break away, even though you know that is probably what is best for you. You hang on, with hope that things will change and he will not lie to you anymore. You justify staying with him by telling yourself that he is a good person and deep down you know he loves you- and that your relationship is wonderful and perfect- except when he lies.

What you need to ask yourself when this happens is: Do you consider a wonderful relationship one in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a liar your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you. When your partner lies to you, it is because he does not respect you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe. Of course, there are different kinds of lies- little ones and big ones, but a lie is still a lie, no matter the size or reason for the lie. Look at it like this: if your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship.

OES TSETNOC

Do you want to read a blog with an boring topics but its educated??Like how to become a popular in blogging,how to download themes in your page??Just go to this site OES TSETNOC ..

I suggest you to go with this site because you have some ideas about something that you dont know.Like on how to improve your popularity in blogging,about webs,search engine or related to the networking and also how to change the templates of your sites..

The first time that I visited on this site, i find it boring but when I read his blog..i found out that the blogger of this site was so excellent,efficient and intelligent writing this blog..he has the ability to persuated people to do when you have a problem in your site nor blog..

 As a  computer science student like me, I learned so much knowledge because I read his blog..so what are you watin’ for?There’s so much things to do in online than to do somethings that is useless!!!

Feel free to ask some questions regarding to his topic, because it worthed!!

I AM GREATLY APPRECIATE IF YOU VISIT HIS SITE.

Is it right to fight in front of our child?

All parents occasionally become angry with each other in the presence of their young children, but if you manage to maintain a reasonably pleasant atmosphere until you are alone, you will spare your son from dealing with relationship complexities for which he is developmentally unprepared.

You and your husband clearly have your son’s best interests at heart. So the next time you feel angry at each other in his presence, try to remember that what feels like an everyday blowup to you feels like a nuclear explosion to him, and do your best to contain your anger until you are alone. Postponing your quarrel will be easier if you realize that in this way you nourish your son’s emotional well-being as surely as you care for his physical health by keeping him out of the street and away from the stove.

♥about me♥

♥ Merry May B. Barrogo –> MhAye
♥ if you want good treatment from me, you have to give me in return.
♥ i am good enough exactly as i am and learning and growing every step of the way.
♥ no matter anyone reacts to me, i know i am a worhwhile person.
♥ i will be successful i know. i can look forward to many good things in life.
♥ i expect to get more good things in life than the average person.
♥ i enjoy learning nEw things.
♥ i have a responsibility and commitment to my family and to my country.
♥ true romantic at heart.
♥ i wont allow anyone to step on me.
♥ i hate liars and bullies, they are just the so called KSP
♥ i hate gossip-monger. just mind your own life ok.
♥ i dare to be who i want to be.
♥ i love imperfections and all! get to know me and you will see that my inside is lovelier than my outside.Ü
♥ i am perfectly HAPPY being IMPERFECT. having imperfect FAMILY, imperfect FRIENDS and imperfect LIFE. well in fact. i LOVE it.
♥ most of my FRIENDS first impression on me is MATARAY MAARTE MASUNGIT, but they proved their selves wrong. SHY at first but when i already feel comfortable with YOU. Hmm.? can you please tell me the meaning of SHY TYPE? haha.
♥ i’m MOODY sometimes, i easily get IRRITATED to ANNOYING people and PRETENDERS. “TRYING to be someone they’re NOT”
♥ easy to be with
♥ i’m FUN LOVING person
♥ i’m HEALTH conscious? haha. but i cant help MYSELF to EAT a LOT. “TAKAW MATA” SOMETIMES. :p
♥ i LOVE myself and i deserve to be LOVED 24/7.

WHAT MAKES ME FEEL BEAUTIFUL?
When i choose to stay positive and calm inside, having enough sleep and keep smiling! Ü

AMBITION: to travel around the world, to have my own island or resorT. WHOA.! haha.

PRIVATE STATEMENT IN LIFE: SIMPLICITY means a life centered in the spirit. that includes an avoidance of materialism, a constant search for truth, living according to one’s belief and creating opportunities for reflection in daily life.

♥ PERSONAL infos are kept PERSONAL ! =]

tru friends:)

(more…)

Tags: friendship dont last!

Posted by trakstarkidmhaye23 at 12:18 pm | permalink | comments[1]

single…..again???

 

 

 

Are you single? Do not worry. You are on the right track.

Wait a minute, what’s wrong? Why are you single again? You can’t find someone who is suitable to your needs? The Chemistry wasn’t there anymore?

I met people who been through that. They feel it’s not necessary to continue a relationship because the chemistry wasn’t there anymore. In my opinion, their intention to break off the relationship wasn’t a selfish move. I rather say this is a good move because you don’t want to continue a relationship that will not work. The longer you wait–you will hurt the person’s heart.

Now, if you are the victim of this mess. Don’t worry about it. They might have a good reason why they broke off the relationship. It’s for your own good because you don’t want to end up being heart broken.

For some reason, people just cheat in this situation. I think it’s dumb and stupid, and people will judge your commitment to others. Like the saying goes, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”.

Anyways, back to the topic. If you are single again, be prepared to be back in the market after you feel it’s time to be with someone else. For some it might be hard to meet new people and for some it might easy. Just don’t give up. There are plenty of fishes in the sea. Just don’t go on the wrong sea! (Hehe…ok, that was lame).

 

i am who i am!

as i am falling through the darkness

i see his arms reach out to mesat that he can catch

i put trust in him but then he withdraws laughing

as i fall further more i decide never to trust

all these voice that call to me in this darkness

then i begin to see the light

then its hit me it was me who didnt catch my self

for all my life ive him as a crutch

today is the day that i learn that

i must be the one catches my self before i hit the floor!! 

 

bLeeding Love!

 

She asks herself

Why it hurts so much??

It’s so silly, but she can’t helpit because He meant so much

He was HIM, the HIM she spent herdays

Dreaming about, wishing for, and talking about

The one she hoped to hear from

And when she didn’t call she’d pretend it didn’t hurt

But she felt it bad

She gets into bed thinking of him, then open her mobile to read the texts she saved all the ones that mean something and she thinks to herself “Did he mean that” ”Did he care”…

Is he over her?? Why does shestill care?? Does he know how much it hurts??

If only he saw her face when hetold her, but it’s like he doesn’t care

It’s over, It really is, even the friendship is gone and she misses it everyday and she knows she shouldn’t

She wants to be strong, He messed with her, she knows it but she doesn’t care because it’s him, and she would go running back if he said he’d have her at anytime, but she knows he wouldn’t

He’s made up his mind she knows it just hurts because she would do anything just to have a boy like him to be loved by someone just like HIM

She reads his message over and over looking for the reason why this happened but she can’t find it

Does he remember? Does he ever think of her? Wonder what she’s up to because he’s still on her mind? Even though he shouldn’t be

She has to wake up and see that it’s ended, she needs to move on because what’s the point in waiting for someone who has already moved on?? It’s pointless

The background in her mobile has to be changed, the kite has to be taken off the wall, and the second contact has to be changed and everything which reminds her of him, it has to be forgotten

She must forget his scent, his smile, his voice, his laugh, his words she has to forget because she has, it’s not fair

Why did he find it easy toforget?? Did she mean nothing??

She just hopes that maybe one dayhe will explain because she doesn’t understand maybe she never will

Your always in my memory

Don’t forget me… =(

♥mHaye♥

broKen Hearted:(

 

 

Being lo

ve is never easy

Especially when the one you love doesn’t love you back

Why don’t you love me like I love you

If only it was as easy as saying “Hey I Love You”

My friends say “Get over him” Its never gonna happen

But that doesn’t stop me smiling whenever his name comes into a conversation

I smile but inside I’m crying

I act normal like every things OK

But I can’t stop the teardrops falling silently down my face

It’s not only that I can’t live without you It’s that I don’t want to

Trying to be strong, people called me weak for crying, I’m just a victim ofLOVE

I want to tell you how I feel

I look at you, You look at her, I long for you, you longs for her

You can fall in love as easy as anything without even meaning to

But falling out of love is near to impossible

I just want to spend forever with you

Why can’t you be mine???

Sometimes the things you wish for the most can never be

Love is so hard so painful yet we all want it

Just tell me how you feel, do you care about me???

I want to hear from you that you don’t want me

And no matter what I do a part of me keeps wishing for you even knowing itwill never happen

My heart aches whenever I think of you

Why do you think some/most relationships dont last?

In a relationship, we set an “agreement” that both parties will try their best to fulfill the request of one another. When someone “broke” some parts or the whole “agreement”, people tend to get mad. We sometimes close our doors on the reasons of others. Thus the relationship becomes more and more weaker until it becomes non-existent. We forget that it is the responsibility of both parties to remind each of them about the said “agreement”. People tend to find the word “perfection” in other things, sometimes through their selves also, ika nga ng kaibigan ko: “PagGusto may paraan, PagAyaw maraming dahilan”.

There is no such thing as “perfection” because it is not meant for us humans. Learn to respect and understand each person.

everytime i remember that day , it just get me upset , i feel like i’m killin’ myself

 

 

 

 unfaithful .. all i can say is that , i know deep inside his heart ,there’s only one girl i can never ever replace .. he always says thathe l0ves me m0re than his life , i can’t let myself believe in thatm0st sweetest words .. d0es he l0ves me that much ? i can’t feel it ..i feel guilty .. i feel miserable .. i feel like i’m d0ing euthanasia for s0meone that l0ves him s0 much .. why they can’t be t0gether ? iknow it’s all my fault .. until n0w , i can’t help but blame myself ..i feel s0rry for that lady .. she suffers s0 much .. ampf ! can i helpher in a way ? in a way that will make her feel overloved .. i’m l0sin’up my mind .. i just can’t let him .. go ..